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Writer's pictureAJ Kay

Hopeless

The last 3 weeks have taken a toll on me. My dog passed away and I was in a car accident. I'm having a difficult time keeping it together, I cry most of the day. I really do want to be happy I just can't control the tears and don't know how to change the sadness that envelops me. I worry because I do have schizoaffective disorder so unsure if this is normal sadness or part of my condition.


Lately been feeling as though I have no purpose. I was in a routine of taking my daughter to work and picking her up as well as making food for her and my husband but now I have no car to take her to work and both her and my husband are watching what they eat so cooking less.


I've lost interest in the activities that brought me joy and I feel joyless. Prior to the car accident was feeling hopeful but that hope eludes me now. I am in limbo waiting to find out if the insurance company will cover the cost of my car.


Besides those things, and this is the big one, the house is so empty without Sophie.

My heart aches for her terribly. I miss her waking up in the morning and bringing me a toy. I miss her barking at me to give her a treat. I miss her sleeping next to me.

I don't know what the answer is.



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